Brainspotting: A Powerful Tool for Healing Trauma in Life, Relationships, & Everything Between
When we experience overwhelming stress or trauma, our brains don’t always process those memories in a way that feels complete. Instead, pieces of those experiences can remain “stuck,” showing up later as anxiety, physical tension, emotional triggers, or difficulties in our relationships. Even when we logically know we’re safe, our bodies can still react as though we’re in danger.
Traditional talk therapy can be helpful for exploring thoughts and gaining perspective. But words often can’t fully access the brain regions where trauma is stored. That’s where Brainspotting offers something unique.
What is Brainspotting?
Brainspotting is a brain–body–based therapy developed by Dr. David Grand in 2003. It operates on the principle that “where you look affects how you feel.” In other words, eye positions can connect us to specific neural pathways where unresolved trauma, emotions, and memories are held.
Rather than only analyzing experiences cognitively, Brainspotting uses the client’s eye gaze to help locate these “brainspots.” Once identified, these spots act as doorways to deeper processing — accessing the parts of the brain responsible for survival responses, emotional regulation, and memory storage.
Many clients describe Brainspotting as a profound experience that feels different from talking. It often bypasses the “thinking brain” and taps directly into the body’s natural capacity to heal.
How Does It Work?
A typical Brainspotting session involves the therapist guiding the client to notice a physical sensation, emotion, or troubling thought. With the help of a pointer or by following natural eye movement, the therapist helps locate a gaze position linked to that inner experience. This becomes the “brainspot.”
The client then holds their gaze on that spot while paying attention to what arises internally — emotions, body sensations, memories, or images. The therapist provides attuned presence and containment, creating a safe space for the brain to reorganize and release what has been held.
This process allows the nervous system to move from survival mode (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn) toward regulation and integration. Unlike some therapies that require detailed verbal storytelling, Brainspotting works gently and indirectly, allowing healing without the need to rehash every detail of the traumatic event.
Clients often report:
A reduction in physical and emotional tension
Feeling “lighter” or less burdened
Clearer perspective on past experiences
Greater resilience when facing stress
Why Brainspotting Can Be Transformational in Relationships
Unresolved trauma doesn’t stay neatly tucked away in the past — it seeps into the present, especially in relationships. Partners may not realize that current struggles are tied to unprocessed wounds. For example:
A partner with a history of abandonment may become highly anxious if their loved one withdraws during conflict.
Past emotional neglect can make it difficult to express needs, leading to resentment or disconnection.
Previous trauma may trigger defensiveness or anger in situations that don’t warrant it.
Brainspotting helps by addressing the root of these reactions, not just the surface conflict. As individuals process and release trauma, they often notice:
Increased emotional regulation (less reactivity in arguments)
A stronger ability to stay present in difficult conversations
Greater capacity for empathy and understanding of their partner
A deeper sense of trust and safety within the relationship
When one or both partners engage in this work, the ripple effect can transform the relational dynamic. Couples can move beyond repeating old patterns and create a new foundation of connection.
Is Brainspotting Right for You?
If you’ve ever felt like you’ve talked through an issue but still carry the emotional weight, Brainspotting may be the next step. It is effective for:
Trauma and PTSD
Anxiety, panic, and phobias
Grief and complicated loss
Chronic pain and physical tension
Performance blocks in sports, academics, or creative work
Relationship challenges rooted in past experiences
What makes Brainspotting especially versatile is that it doesn’t force you to talk about things you’re not ready to share. It works with your body’s natural wisdom and pacing, while the therapist provides support and safety.
Healing isn’t always about thinking harder or talking more. Sometimes it’s about giving your brain and body space to complete what was left unfinished — to finally let go.
Closing Thoughts
Brainspotting is not a “quick fix,” but many clients experience significant shifts in a relatively short amount of time compared to traditional methods. For those who feel stuck, it can open new pathways to healing, resilience, and connection.
If you’re curious, please consider reaching out, as I am a level 2 trained brainspotting therapist. Whether your goal is to release past trauma, manage anxiety, or strengthen your relationships, this powerful modality can support you in moving forward with more freedom and balance.